My Drive

Bumper-Sticker-Nasheville-TN-Using-Rights
I see you
Mr. Millennial
with your horned rim glasses and neckbeard
the wind whistling through the bike rack on your Subaru Outback
while you sing along to Mumford and Sons
I see you
Mrs. Millennial
with your cup of Starbucks and cellphone
texting away while your kids watch Netflix in the back seat
where did you get that stick figure family sticker?
I see you
Mr. Generation X
with your goatee and Ray Bans
the sun reflecting off your bald head and white teeth
are you late for golf or a cross burning?
I see you
Mrs. Generation X
with that desperate, unsatisfied look on your face
the shine of your right blinker, left on for the last 3 miles
the edge of your “I love Wine” sticker is peeling off
I see you
Mr. Baby Boomer
with your tan face, thin silver hair and sun spots
keeping death at bay with your window cracked while you smoke
I didn’t realize they made a Mercedes station wagon.
I see you
Ms. Baby Boomer
with a genuine look of confidence and control
checking your make up in the rear view mirror
thinking of him seems to only verify you are better off alone
– TLF 02/17/2016

Old man

My father asked me if I could eventually defeat my demons.
I told him yes, with a few hugs and a human sacrifice.
I miss him often, more than I can bear.
I look often to the heavens I don’t believe in, hoping he is smiling on me.
My father asked me if the frequency and intensity was sustainable.
I told him I had no idea, but that isn’t how decisions are made.
I see him in the little shadows near the stairs.
I still seek his council in troubled times of want and need.
When I was a little man, not a grown man, but old enough to know better, obstinance carried me through my days.
Then I became an old man, and the obstinance was replaced by a genuine sense of loneliness and uncertainty.
Failing to appreciate the safety when I had safety to appreciate is a hallmark of my arrogance.
My life is a failed suicide foretold by the meaningless orientations of constellations.
My father asked me if I had lived a good life and been a good man.
I told him no, the story of my life has not yet been finished.
I hear him in the words of the people who work the dirt.
I continue to seek his approval despite the obvious.

Shitty Music…

This is totally a first world problem but suffer my idiocy (and lick my plate you dog dick).

So I am driving to work this morning with the radio in the on position. I am tuned into a local alternative station, one that claims to play a wide variety of “new rock”. Additionally, it seems they like to run 95 mins commercial free music. Initially this may seem like a pretty good deal if, like me, you hate commercial interruptions. However, the catch is this…they, the radio station programmers, fail to tell you it will be 95 minutes of uninterrupted shit. How do I know it is shit? Because while I was listening to it I said, “What the hell is this shit?”.

It takes me about 30 minutes to drive to work with mileage and traffic. So for 30 minutes (of the advertised 95) I was consistently disappointed, hoping a decent song would follow the epic pile of shit preceding it. Yes, yes I could have changed the channel, but then that would mean I gave more than zero fucks for your opinion.

For 30 minutes I was bombarded with the opposite of K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70’s, including, but not limited to, Collective Soul, Artic Monkeys, Mumford & Sons, Cold Play, Filter, Cage the Elephant, Queens of the Stone Age (omg I cannot adequately express the level of suck they possess),and a couple others I seriously could not identify.

The state of the music scene/industry/universe today hass gone to hell in the proverbial hand basket. The chimps running record companies are manufacturing shit, widely and recklessly distributing shit, and hoping it hits whichever entity is stupid enough to be yawning at that moment in time. Now I cannot completely blame the record companies for the propagation of this pollution. Many of the new bands creating this audible shit storm spent their formative years in the mid to late 90s. Any taste of decent music was washed away by dubious contributions to society like Oasis, No Doubt, Matchbox Twenty, Hootie and the Blowfish, Dave Matthews Band, Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind, Candlebox, Silverchair, Reel Big Fish, Slipknot…fuck I cant go on, I am in a rage…wait one more…THE FOO FIGHTERS…zomgwtf these guys are simply this generations Toto…no Van Halen…no .

Let us not forget the end of the value chain…the consumer…Je’sus Christos on a cracker, crutch or pogo stick, why would someone pay to listen to the aforementioned fecal matter. I mean at some point market dynamics (supply and demand, puts and takes, whatever your poison) will take over, just stop feeding the monster(s). I cannot accurately count the times I have heard the moronic justification for the quality of music be causally linked to the number of copies sold. For the last time, just because there is a lot of it does not necessarily make it good…just like shit.

Now back to my original point about shit and music and such. While driving and suffering the psychosomatic effects of the aforementioned audible harassment, I began to contemplate my harsh characterization of the musical masterpieces leaving a greasy film on the inside of my ears. I began to wonder was this music really akin to feces? What attributes did they actually share? What this just another of my baseless judgments resulting in yet another wild claim?

NO…

You see bad music is very much like shit. Most of us hate shit, I mean some eat it and rub it on themselves during sex, but I mean for the most part it is human nature to avoid it. We typically tolerate it in small and confined doses. If you see a dog turd on the sidewalk it may gross you out or annoy you, but overall you move on with your life. However, if you are forced to wade through an oil slick of shit, having it thrown at you, while wearing a shit suit you will likely get pissed off.

Now take what I have just shared with you and translate shit to bad music and bad music to shit and so on and so forth. You will see that my theory holds water be it logically, rhetorically, or linguistically. If anyone would like to argue from the subjectivist position, beauty in the eye of the beholder and so forth, please do. I have provided examples above to fuel the debate.

May the Lord bless you and keep you; may he make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you and give you poptarts…

Time Warner Cable…

So we have been having some issues with our service from Time Warner Cable. I love using chat for customer service.

However using chat is and always will be a roll of the dice:)

The following is the transcript from my latest adventure with TWC customer service:

Analyst Dave is here. Status: Working

Close
User TONY_ has entered room
Analyst Dave has entered room
Analyst has left room
Dave]]>Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. My name is Dave and I would be happy to help you.
Dave]]>Thank you for waiting.
Dave]]>Hello. How are you doing today?
TONY_]]>I am doing fine. I was looking at my bill for this month.
Dave]]>Good to know that!
Dave]]>Okay
TONY_]]>Before I pay it, I am waiting to hear back from TWC on a potential credit.
TONY_]]>I have not heard anything for a few weeks.
Dave]]>I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you.
TONY_]]>The last rep I spoke with, stated they would enter an escalation ticket for me.
TONY_]]>That was weeks ago
Dave]]>Okay.
Dave]]>I will be glad to provide you with the required information.
Dave]]>Please let me check on that.
TONY_]]>Cool
Dave]]>My Pleasure.
Dave]]>Thank you for your patience.
TONY_]]>No worries
Dave]]>Okay
Dave]]>Thank you for your patience.
Dave]]>I have successfully removed the credit for Installation. It will reflect into next month bill.
TONY_]]>What is the credit for installation? Do you mean the charge I received for installation?
Dave]]>Yes, Correct.
TONY_]]>How much was that charge?
Dave]]>$29.99
TONY_]]>So for months of sub-standard service and repeated service trips to my home you are refunding me $29.99…
TONY_]]>If you check the records you have sent technicians to our home multiple times.
TONY_]]>This has been a documented and ongoing issue.
Dave]]>I understand it.
Dave]]>Yes, I see the notes.
Dave]]>May I know at what date your service were resolved?
TONY_]]>Dave, is english a second language for you? Because I am not sure what you are asking.
Dave]]>Sorry for misunderstanding.
Dave]]>Please allow me couple of minutes.
Dave]]>I have seen into our records.
Dave]]>You were having issue from 11/06 to 11/18.
TONY_]]>Service at our new address began 10/01/2013. It was noted that we have had issues since that initial installation date.
Dave]]>Okay.
Dave]]>Let me remove the charge from the account.
TONY_]]>Which charges my friend?
Dave]]>The Service which you have not received.
TONY_]]>Ok, what is the amount you will be removing?
Dave]]>Please allow me couple of minutes.
TONY_]]>Sure thing
Dave]]>Thank you.
Dave]]>I appreciate your patience and apologize for the delay in response.
Dave]]>I have applied credit of $81.51 + $29.99 for Installation charge = Total Credit $117.36. Which will reflect into next month bill.
TONY_]]>
Thank you. Have a great day.